Straight White Guy Problems

Booked a gig on Sunday that pays 600 clams; conflicts with my live fantasy baseball draft. SON OF A BITCH.

#straightwhiteguyproblems

Shit… this online douche is better than me at Halo.

#straightwhiteguyproblems

Goddamn. I need a motherfuckin burrito. RIGHT NOW.

#straightwhiteguyproblems

A text from “Jenn from the bar”. FUCK… which one???

#straightwhiteguyproblems

Too fuck to drunk.

#straightwhiteguyproblems

Fucking bird shit all over my windshield.

#straightwhiteguyrproblems

Beach closed this morning cuz of tsunami watch. Couldn’t surf. So pissed…

#straightwhiteguyproblems

Can I spare some change? No, bro. No.

#straightwhiteguyproblems

Ah shit, she’s late.

#straightwhiteguyproblems

This Tumblr chick is hot but I think she’s like 15.

#straightwhiteguyproblems